Continue reading »]]> I have been stuck in the hospital for eight days. This is definitely not the entry into the world we envisioned for our first child, but such things you can’t really plan. After four days of gentle induction my body didn’t respond and we opted for a c-section. It was the last thing we wanted but due to the uncontrollable nature of my condition, we didn’t really have a choice. Waiting weeks for natural birth didn’t seem like the safest choice.

On Mother’s Day, May 13, we went into the surgical room and met our daughter at 2:33pm. It was a very quick and crazy experience. Many people rushing around, each doing a specific task; many wonderful ladies making sure I was comfortable and understanding everything that was going on. When I first heard our baby cry, I immediately cried. Then I saw her when they lifted her over the surgical drape. Seeing her was equally amazing but also very strange because it’s someone you’ve been waiting 9 months to meet, yet when you see them, they are a stranger, and it’s surreal to think they are yours. From the surgical table I watched Noah help clean the baby off. It was hard to be laying there unable to be near our baby but I had to let that go and just accept the situation I was in. And regardless, I was very happy for Noah to be able to participate in everything. He was absolutely beaming. We named her Sparrow. She was 8 lbs. 11 oz.

After spending an hour in recovery, they took us up to a private room, where we planned to spend the next several days. But that didn’t happen.

That evening, out of nowhere, I had two seizures, was rolled to ICU and heavily sedated. Noah told me later that the doctors and nurses were trying to put IVs and lines in me but I kept ripping them out. I got blood all over his shirt and all over my pillow from home that the medical team ended up throwing away. I was foaming at the mouth, and had breathing tubes placed into my nose and throat. I don’t remember much from that whole ordeal except the first few seconds of the first seizure and once when I sort of woke up in the middle of sedation. I remember trying to rip my oxygen mask off. But apparently I was also ripping off everything they were trying to hook me up to and stretched and writhed in ways that I definitely shouldn’t, given my post-surgery condition! Yes, I am quite sore! I came out of sedation Monday mid morning and was under 48 hour observations with tests, wires, drips, etc. I had a nurse watching me every moment. Sleep has been hard with constant tests and monitoring. I’m quite the mystery here as to what caused the seizures. There are a number of theories floating around, but I won’t get into details of that.

The staff have been lovely, helpful, kind… and I am so appreciative. Though we are very tired of being checked on constantly. We just want a sense of normalcy and privacy now. But while here, I am the talk of Christchurch Women’s Hospital. Every day a new person comes by to say hello and check on me. (Noah told me that the night of the seizures about tons of staff filled our room and were involved in helping me.) Just while typing this, an anesthetist who helped keep me down during my episode came by to say hello.

Noah has been amazing and coping well though I gave him quite a fright during the seizures. He said I wasn’t acting myself and he didn’t know the whole time if I would make it out of the seizures with permanent damages or not—the doctors weren’t sure what my outcome would be and ran several tests on me while I was sedated. So, when I came out of sedation and tested out normal, he was so relieved. I remember looking up at him and he was crying when he saw me wake up. We are so thankful he was staying with me the night I had the seizures. I don’t know what would be the outcome had I been alone.

So the last couple days have been insane, with little privacy. I am now in a recovery room in the main maternity ward and have to stay until Saturday. Noah is staying here as well and helping me look after baby Sparrow, which I am so grateful for, and all the nurse staff are helpful too. It will just be great to be home with our baby and back to our normal lives. It’s been a challenge this last week going through everything, and constantly being monitored, having my blood pressure taken, blood taken, taking meds, getting shots, getting my reflexes tested, etc. I just want to be better and back in a state of normalcy.

I think the hardest thing for me has been the drama before and after the birth of Sparrow because it’s taken away from the moment of her arrival. I was so tired and drugged up after the seizures that the last several days have been a blur. I am already forgetting the sequence of events over the last week and I have totally forgotten the first day with Sparrow because of the seizures that happened later that night. I cannot remember much of the first 12 hours we had with her. So now I am trying to enjoy each moment, kiss her like crazy, and take time to journal what I do remember from her birthday. She’s a delightful baby. Completely placid, sweet and soft. We are so grateful for her and can’t wait until she joins us at home!

Photos Coming Soon!

*Kate*

Continue reading »]]> Since Kate is now transitioning from mum-to-be to mum, I am taking over the ‘mum-to-be’ blog. Despite being almost 16 weeks pregnant, I still feel relatively new to this state of being. This is my first baby and for the first few weeks it seemed hard to comprehend that there was an actual life growing inside me.

We had a scan at 12.5 weeks and it was incredible to be able to see our baby complete with kicking legs, feet, toes, and a strongly beating heart. I was surprised the scan was so clear and pictured a perfectly formed little baby so early. Apparently this week (week 15) the baby can make a fist, has finger and toe nails and may even be able to savour meals (to which my husband commented that it is certainly getting well fed with the way I eat at the moment!). It is simply miraculous that we are able to bring this life into the world. Yet, I still sometimes forget that there is really a little life there.

It is a relief in many ways to be moving into the second trimester, as I experienced nausea and morning sickness earlier in my pregnancy. Although, morning sickness did have the benefit of getting my husband into the routine of making me breakfast and lunch for work because I simply couldn’t face the kitchen in the morning . I will let you know when this loses its glow for him! Work has become a lot easier now and many foods that I didn’t want to eat and drink before have become attractive again.

During the period of morning sickness I had to make sure my stomach was never empty as it really helped with nausea, and I don’t seem to have transitioned out of being much more fixated on food and meals than I ever have been before. I was discussing with my husband whether this is nature’s way of making sure I eat enough for my baby but I don’t think I’m supposed to be needing to eat more right now!

One of the highlights of the last little while has also been being able to tell all our friends. The first few weeks are a funny time because you have such big news, yet you can’t tell anyone. And it’s hard when you are sick at work but can’t say why! Our parents were overjoyed beyond all expectation when we told them, and it is nice to feel so supported by friends and family once you let everyone know. It makes you realise how much having so much support around you helps you mentally. I look forward to sharing more of my pregnancy with you in the coming weeks.

Continue reading »]]> Just a really brief update for you! As some of you know we were planning a home birth for the birth of our baby, who is due May 21. We ended up finding out on Tuesday this week that I have a condition called obstetric cholestasis and therefore were advised to go in to hospital for induction. I have spent the last several days in hospital and have had quite the experience which I will share later when I have more energy and time. For the time being, I wanted to let you know what’s happening in brief. I’ve been giving several low doses of an induction gel so as to stimulate dilation gently. The hope has been to allow my body time to take over so I can progress with a natural labour and not be forced into a more unnatural situation that is brought on by a drip. My body has been very slow to respond, as is expected since it’s early days still and baby isn’t “ready” to come out yet. We’ve been blessed with a fantastic team at the hospital and my amazing midwife, Jacqui, has been by our side every step of the way. Though it’s been a rough several days with so many decisions and uncertainties, we’ve felt peace amid the change of plans and fears of both the health of myself and the baby. We are glad that our wish for a gentle approach to induction has been honoured. Please keep us in your thoughts… and if you’re the praying type, please pray. Thanks so much! Baby will be here soon.

Continue reading »]]> It’s been a while since I last posted a blog so I thought I better pull my finger out and give you an update on Hugo!  One day he was a cute little puppy and now he’s growing at a great rate of knots into a very large dog!   At five months old I’m looking at the size of him and thinking uh oh, you’re only half way there aren’t you.  Like when you look at  kids who’ve turned into teenagers overnight with a long body, gangly legs and testosterone galore.  It’s almost enough to scare you.

Hugo is a very priviledged dog – being allowed into the Bounty office every other day.  He has specific jobs that he carries out with due diligence; like sniffing all staff to make sure they’re not carrying any illegal substances, cleaning up any food scraps from the tea room to save vacumming, keeping courier drivers on their toes and one of his most important jobs – keeping my feet warm under the desk.   Filing paperwork is another one of his refined admin skills.  Anything that is put in the bin will be retrieved and checked before attempting to chew on it to ensure it’s shredded properly.

There were  a couple of minor accidents indoors at the beginning but ‘piddle time’ has now become a standard phrase at Bounty.   The neighbours are also coming to know Hugo well and instead of asking how your day’s going – it’s ‘Where’s Hugo today?

He’s becoming our number one morale booster and we all love him here!

Bounty's prized staff member

Continue reading »]]> After several middle of the night trips to the bathroom, I wake to the sound of my husband’s alarm going off. Noah works from home and often works late into the night so we have been on a late-rising schedule the last couple of years. Yes, this will change soon! I lie in bed for another hour just enjoying being warm and cozy. I have to be to a friend’s by 11:30 to pick up a bassinet we are borrowing for the baby so I have plenty of time to get up. As I lie here, it strikes me how well I slept. It is the first decent night of sleep I’ve had in a month. Even with going to the bathroom, I was able to fall back asleep immediately unlike most nights where I lie there for an hour or so until I drift off. I notice also that my right side is pretty sore from sleeping most of the night in one position. Stretching a bit before getting up, I also notice my pelvic joints and ligaments feel sore as is usual lately. I wonder to myself if this baby is going to be early. It has descended a bit, but still hasn’t dropped significantly.

Noah’s alarm goes off again and I rise, greet the kitty, who’s particularly friendly in the morning because she wants to be fed. I fix myself a buttered and jammed piece of whole wheat toast. I get everything out to make a fruit smoothie but drat, we’re out of orange juice. I put the frozen berries and banana away and opt for a less healthy option—a coffee with milk—before getting ready for the day.

I make my way across town, down Papanui Road to my friend Rachel’s home. I’m greeted by their Brazilian friend whom they are hosting. I notice baby items on the kitchen table, especially the really cute sheep-skin moccasin booties. Rachel appears and we enjoy looking through the baby items, which are for us since her children are all grown out of them, and spend awhile catching up. She thinks the baby is a girl and I tell her, “Right answer!” since we think it’s a girl too. Though we will be just as thrilled with a boy of course. Rachel’s 18-month-old daughter lets out a cry from her room after waking from her nap. Rachel feeds her a scrambled egg and I head out the door soon after with the bassinet, a jolly jumper and some lovely hand-me-downs. I feel very thankful.

I make my way through pot-holed roads and construction zones, over toward The Palms. I walk through the mall conscious of stares at the belly and some kind smiles from strangers and notice all the mums and their babies in prams. Soon I too will tote around a pram with our wee bundle inside. In search of a few items, I head into Kmart first. We need a new set of queen sheets for hosting our parents. I find nothing that’s both good quality and affordable. We’re on a tight budget at the moment. Next I search for a comfy robe, and again am let down. There are only a handful of options available, none of which look to be made of very good quality so I choose nothing. I tisk, knowing that if I want something nice I just have to be willing to pay more somewhere else. I do find, however, a cute sleepwear long-sleeved top that will be good for nursing since it has buttons down part of the front.

Mad dash to the bathroom.

Then I head to Farmers where I am delighted by the bigger selection of robes. But aghast I nearly give up when I see price tags starting in the $60′s. That is until I find the perfect “Kate” robe. Lightweight, turquoise and white striped with a flowered trim. It’s $49.99 but with the 20% promotion, it ends up being $39.99. This we can do. I’m relieved to have found something after looking for the last several months, and get excited knowing this is my baby robe. The robe I’ll be wearing around during labour and after delivery (as well as all the time afterward but I am especially getting it for puttering around the house during the home birth and while lounging around once baby has arrived.)

Leaving Farmers I head to Countdown to do a regular grocery shop. Nothing too exciting to report (except for redeeming a new knife from the stamp collecting promotion!). As I push my cart, full of groceries, out into the mall, a liter of water rolls out from the top of my cart across the linoleum floor. People keep walking past and I wonder why no one offers to pick it up for me. My belly is huge! Oh well. It’s no trouble for me. Just wondering when the belly is going to come in handy! LOL.

Once at home Noah helps me unload the groceries and items from Rachel out of the car. I busily put everything away and check the mail. We received a bag of delicious-smelling coffee from Ethiopia from our friends who were just there meeting their future daughter whom they are adopting. I also open up to envelopes containing a graduation announcement and baby announcement. Our mail from overseas always all comes at the same time. It’s rarely spread out. I then make us a lunch of chicken, cheese and tomato quesadillas with fruit smoothies for the drink now that we have orange juice. Afterward I’m still feeling full of energy from the good night’s sleep so I set up the bassinet, which is pretty easy to figure out. I lay down a yellow baby blanket into the bassinet—the one my friend’s grandmother made me, whom I’ve never met! I’m in awe, thinking about our baby soon lying here. We put the bassinet out of the way until Noah can move our tall boy off to the side since it’s currently attached to the wall so it doesn’t fall during strong quakes. I change our bed sheets and start up a load of laundry. At the end of this my eyes feel heavy, my back begins to feel tight. It’s time for a rest. So I blog. It’s 7:00pm and I think I’ll stay in bed for awhile longer, rereading a short book on childbirth before baking some chocolate chip cookies. I’ve been craving some home-baked cookies for a few days and I finally have the time to make them. Mmmm!

Continue reading »]]> It’s great to hear a celebrity embracing the changes that pregnancy brings to a woman’s body. In this article, Natalie Portman speaks out about loving the experience of being pregnant and being at peace with the changes. She also adds that it’s important to still feel beautiful post-pregnancy. The article states, “While she admits being a mother is far from glamorous she has been making an effort to dress in a more feminine way…’Especially after months of diapers and regurgitation, women need to feel beautiful, to change their look and make-up,’ she told Italy’s edition of Vanity Fair.”

I can remember during one of my husband and my pre-marital counseling sessions my husband mentioned one of his hopes was that I wouldn’t turn into a sloppy housewife—always in sweats and a T-shirt. I assured him that would never happen. It’s funny how things can change though. I do get dressed everyday, but I can see how easy and more comfortable it would be, especially during pregnancy and early motherhood with a newborn, to stay in my pj’s all day. It would suit me just fine! After a restless, uncomfortable night of sleep, sometimes the thought of changing into tight jeans, a bra and cute top doesn’t sound appealing. I’d much rather prefer to stay in what I went to sleep in—especially on chilly Canterbury days! But I’ve made an effort to get dressed most days in an attempt not to get too sloppy or get into any bad habits. And it does help me be more productive. There is something to be said about a fresh set of clothing, a shower, etc. You know how when you are sick, just taking a shower and changing clothes makes you feel better? It’s kind of like that during pregnancy. Taking care of yourself can boost your energy a bit as well.

It will be interesting to see what this looks like in the first weeks after the baby arrives. I know I’ll allow myself much more room for comfort, and much more time in bed taking care of bub. I’ve actually been on the search for a comfortable, cute and affordable robe. I own no robe at the moment and would like one for that time since I imagine I’ll be in it daily as I adjust to the new wee bundle! But that will just be for a season, then it will be important that I feel human and feminine again. Like what Natalie Portman mentions, it is important to still take pride in one’s appearance, to take time for oneself and make it a priority to not lose yourself in the messiness of becoming a mum. There’s a balance to be learned. Appearance isn’t everything—our value and self-worth are not held by our clothing, our size, our makeup. But we also shouldn’t let go so far as to lose all self-respect and become lethargic in our own lives and completely unattractive to our partner (for those of us in relationships).

For mums out there, do you care to share about your experiences in this area?

*Kate*

Continue reading »]]> It seems anything sets off my stress levels the last couple of weeks. I find the smallest things cloud my brain, seem overwhelming and send my stress hormones sky rocketing. I don’t like feeling not myself and feeling that out of control. But I know it’s all stems from being pregnant so I’m trying to give myself grace through those tough days. And I’m learning what I need to lessen stress in my life, even if it means cutting way back on responsibilities that I normally could handle. It sounds silly at first, thinking over the things that currently dissolve me into a flood of tears, but I have to remind myself that it’s OK to feel that way, as long as I manage to find ways to relax and let go of that tension. I want to go into these last 4 weeks of pregnancy stress free, relaxed and ready to welcome baby into a calm environment.

We are involved in various volunteering efforts, work-related projects and also open our home to hosting travelers. The last month we have had back-to-back visitors which has been utterly exausting for me. Though I’ve loved spending time with each set of guests, I find it wears me out very quickly. A lot of supportive friends have warned me to be careful, to not overdo it, to make sure I keep my feet up, etc. And thankfully all of the recent guests have been very supportive as well, understanding that I’m in my last bit of pregnancy. Our last guests leave tonight so we’re officially done hosting people for the next couple of months which brings me some peace of mind. And we are looking forward to having both sets of parents here to help during baby’s first few weeks!

My motto for the month of May is pretty much, “say no and be OK with it”. I’m usually pretty good at being honest, saying no and not overcommitting, but I’m allowing myself be even more strict with my personal time and space this last month of pregnancy, knowing it will help me maintain a good head space and opportunity to really rest and contemplate the upcoming arrival of our first child.

Besides cutting down my schedule, it’s been nice to be able to have the hubs give me massages at the end of the day when I’m feeling particularly achy or stressed. Touch is so relaxing to me. And long, hot showers. I usually take quick showers, but throughout pregnancy I’ve found it so nice and relaxing to just stay in the shower for however long, just soaking in the quiet warmth. I think I’ll be in the shower throughout half of my labour too! (If only the hot water heater stayed warm that long!) And sometimes just a good cry makes me feel better. It seems to relieve tension as I let out emotions I’ve been holding in.

Here are a few more techniques to relieving stress as found on: http://www.babymed.com/pregnancy/stress-relief-pregnancy

• Talk it out. Find a person that you can trust and vent.  Make sure that this person can help keep you positive and upbeat.
• Try a prenatal yoga class. Yoga promotes relaxation and clarity. It is also a good way to exercise during pregnancy.
• Try breathing exercises and meditation.  This is a great way to relax.  Breathing deeply in a quiet environment will help you get rid of the stress that is driving you crazy.
• Get plenty of rest.  Rest is important for everyone all the time, and becomes even more important as your body is working overtime to take care of you and your unborn child.
• Pamper yourself.  Take lots of opportunities for candle-lit bubble baths, massages, manicures and pedicures.  Taking time for yourself is a greatway to relieve stress and having a newborn child will certainly cut down on your time for yourself!  Stock up before the baby arrives.

Continue reading »]]> As Noah and I prepare for parenthood, we’ve had many conversations over the years about child rearing, discipline, approaches to life and various philosophies on child development. Two things have stood out lately to us that I wanted to share with you. Both are wisdom from French ways.

A few months ago a Kiwi friend was sharing with me that they had recently hosted some French friends. She noted that the couple’s French-reared daughter, age 2, was very mature for her age. She didn’t talk like a typical two year old, but used more mature expressions like that of an adult. What they noticed was that the parents talked to her like an adult, avoiding all “baby talk” and the typical baby tones (high pitched voice, cooing voice, etc.) that most of us tend to use. Though it’s hard to imagine never using the “baby voice” on my children, the outcome of avoiding it is quite interesting. While we don’t want our children to “grow up” too fast, we do think it’s worth considering that we as parents greatly impact a child’s learning, behaviour and interactions with the world. Is it possible to avoid bratty, selfish, immature children? Can we train up mature, more balanced children, more quickly, depending on the way we simply talk to them and treat them? I think so!

Another topic that recently popped up was this article about French eating habits. The New York Times published an article by an American writer on the French approach to eating, specifically mentioning the difference in approaches between the two countries when it comes to feeding your baby, children and family in general. My husband and I found it fascinating and are definitely going to implement their approach. Though it’s written through an American lens, I believe it is still very relevant to Kiwi culture as well in regards to healthier, more balanced approaches to what we consume. Read Here: Why French Parents Are Superior 

I definitely think we can learn a thing or two from the French!

What are your thoughts on the article?

*Kate